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Sunday’s Monday

Many of us have our concept of relationships and what makes them work, but the truth is we are wrong in our thinking. Let me see if I can better set this up for a directly pointed truth. We are human flesh born with wills to survive, needs to be filled and feelings to be coddled. We at best are very much self-absorbed and have learned to ease our guilt of selfishness through rationalizing everything. For example, defines rationalizing as, to ascribe (one's acts, opinions, etc.) to causes that superficially seem reasonable and valid but that are unrelated to the true, possibly unconscious, and often less creditable or agreeable causes; to remove unreasonable elements from. I find in Hebrews 3:12 (NLT), Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. Now, please, re-read the definition of rationalizing to gauge your truthful understanding of your relationships.

Rationalized relationships have become a default setting for many to control broken hearts, the pain of loss, and thousands of other reasons. For me, it falls in the category of long-distance love affairs, where two are connected with sound and memories but disconnected with touch, sight, and emotion. Soon the two become simply acquainted as the depth of the internal connection of the relationship shallows, becoming merely an acquaintance which describes, a person known to one, but usually not a close friend: the state of being acquainted or casually familiar with someone or something. This is why rationalizing has become so dangerous and widely accepted by the human species. The mind is convinced that it has already found what the heart is desperately seeking! Beginning the process of rationalizing a low-maintenance relationship which requires little more than the occasional conversation. This is a self-serving situation which can be found in Romans 10:2-3 (NLT), 2 I know what enthusiasm they have for God, but it is misdirected zeal. 3 For they don’t understand God’s way of making people right with himself. Refusing to accept God’s way, they cling to their way of getting right with God by trying to keep the law. Take note, every time we’re living outside the will of God it is because we’re living from inside our wants and desires!

Sadly, this is a worldwide reality, and our worldly science even backs up the fact that relationships are failing in larger numbers than before. Example: Maddy Savage reports on 6th December 2020, divorce rates are increasing around the world, and relationship experts warn the pandemic-induced break-up curve may not have peaked yet. However, there is a golden lining to this cloud! The cure can be found in individual hearts! If we will simply learn what God says a relationship is, be determined to make it grow no matter what, following the “continual” instructions from God. Over time we will find, we’re in a healthy, vibrant, joy-filled relationship with everyone who will allow it. I know everyone has heard, “you get out of it, what you put into it” or “you’ll reap what you sow!” To accomplish this, I try to abide in Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT), 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. It truly helps to strive to live by the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, Matthew 7:12.

The absolute truth of the matter is, anytime we rationalize anything “we become” the fool in which we’re trying to fool. Half-stepping, side-tracking, with half-truths and whole lies can only lead to failure, disgust, and eventual collapse. I’m not minimizing the fact spoken of in the 1965 recording of Marvin Gaye & Kim Weston titled “It Takes Two.” As all parties need to be on the same page working toward the same results, but there has to be a catalyst to start and keep the reaction going and I’ve found in my case that catalyst is to be me! Each relationship God leads me into is mine to own, to work and grow, to care for and strengthen. As it is written in 1 Peter 4:8 (NLT), Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. A successful relationship will almost always be bathed in the love of Jesus, held within God’s heart, and strengthened through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I pray Philippians 2:3-5 (NLT) over all who hear, 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Help us to remember it is a privilege to be in a relationship and it takes two to have and maintain it. Father, teach us to better be that catalyst of growth for all whom you have chosen for us. Amen


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