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      Translucent is just what you think it is. The dictionary reads, allowing light, but not detailed shapes, to pass through; semitransparent. You’ve heard of looking through rose-colored glasses which is a form of translucent vision. There is no clear view or understanding of what one expects to see, feel, or recognize as a clear path to take. I spoke of the rose-colored glasses, well it doesn’t help to take them off (metaphorically speaking) because I have no clue where God is taking me, which is making the battle with Satan that much harder. I’m at the point where my mouth is making announcements that my spirit is struggling to keep within God’s boundaries. Honestly, I’m at the point where I want to be mad at the world and everything in it but I tried that for 31 years and it hurt me deeply. I want a reason why and yet I understand that we all must die to live. I did the why me lord bit for a few days until I caught a glimpse of the old me trying to resurrect itself and I stopped that. When God gave me 1 Peter 5:8 (NLT), Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. I must look like a big T Bone to him in my current state!

      While in the book of 1 Peter reading chapter 5, I found comfort, strength, and companionship in 1 Peter 5:9 (NLT), Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are. Not that I’m glad for their suffering but it renews my desire to be a stronger part of the body. God is showing me a new niche that I can help to fill, a place where I’ve never been and have little knowledge of what it takes to help others suffering from the loss of a spouse. I still have no understanding of what my future looks like except I am to continue moving forward clinging to Jesus as my guide. It seems everything I’m asking is slowly being revealed to where I can understand it. This past Thursday I felt I needed to get back on track so I attended the two meetings I attended before Pat went home. It was great, I love those guys.

      The first meeting adjourns at 9:30 am and the second meeting starts at 10 am across town. It is the Board of Directors meeting for Western North Carolina Overcomers which is a Christian completion center for the recovery of addicts who seek to change their future. Once the meeting was over, Ken Niewulis (my dearest friend) and I spent the afternoon talking which he gave me the room to ramble on about everything and his listening freed me up tremendously. You see when I’m afforded the opportunity to talk “one-on-one” as we did, I dig up roots as we converse. This helps me to maintain what little sanity I have left and it keeps me in a better place with God. Plus, it clears the path to my future as it brings new revelations into the suffering at this time. But in the midst of it all, I will stand on 1 Peter 5:10 (NLT), In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.

      I’m sure at this point you are searching out the different versions or translations for the word translucent as it applies to life, specifically, “your,” life. A life where your deepest and dearest friend doesn’t truly know you. While we’re on that subject, how transparent is your life to you? If you find it to be the least bit translucent when you’re looking at it, you’re on the fence. My best explanation of what that means is to think of barbed wire because that is what Granddad had around his pasture to keep the animals inside. Now, for those that are not familiar with this type of fence, it is a wire fence made from heavy gauge steel wire that contains clusters of short, sharp spikes set at intervals along its length and it will rip you to shreds should you tangle with it. Now, if you can imagine straddling that with the barbs on the ready to do painful damage in places of which we need not speak and you choose to stay there, that’s on you. We’re told in 1 Peter 5:2 (NLT), Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly–not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God. The translucent livers claim to know, love, and serve Jesus yet they choose to not get off that fence of undecidedness. They have no clear vision of where God wants to take them.

      Dear Lord, help us to understand that there is no such thing as good or bad days! All days are a gift from you and we let outside influences dictate how we receive each day. I pray we understand 1 Peter 5:12 (NLT), I have written and sent this short letter to you with the help of Silas, whom I commend to you as a faithful brother. My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God’s grace for you. Stand firm in this grace. Thank you, Lord, for your mercy and Grace. Amen



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