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Sunday’s Monday

This is a result of my recent stay in the hospital and my habit of awakening very early to talk with God and do some writing. This is part of who I am and it doesn’t change, even on vacation, I require black coffee along with my early morning worship. However, the first two mornings of my hospital stay I didn’t have my laptop and was forced to improvise with pen and paper in very dim lighting. I tried to be as quiet as possible because my wife (bless her heart) was trying to sleep on an uncomfortable recliner. So, I mostly lay quietly (restricted to the bed) in the semi-darkness talking with God and meditating. It was during my meditation that I received the thought of the Walk Through My Darkness. Which made no sense until God opened my eyes to see the relevance within the thought. Looking around that room, I realized the difficulty I would have navigating this unfamiliar environment in the near-total dark conditions.

Then my thought turned to the vision of my mind, being in this condition before my surrender to Jesus. I remember how much fear and anxiety filled me every time I visited those ugly thoughts of loneliness, animosity, and hatred hiding within the darkness. Fear kept me from venturing too deep because I knew whatever I found I would personally have to deal with and I simply chose to be enslaved rather than fight that which I did not understand. My fear had grown so strong that my suffering seemed more desirable than the freedom of escape. The darkness of my mind blocked every vision, dream, and hope, I could have for the future. With this in mind, I thought about my usual daily activities and how I dodged going into my mind by simply making mindless decisions. Ergo the dark just grew darker, forcing me to avoid thinking even harder. But God played the Deuteronomy 7:6 card in June of 1992 which reads, (NLT), For you are a holy people, who belong to the Lord your God. Of all the people on earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be his own special treasure. I couldn’t and didn’t believe it. But God asked me to try Him and I did.

Today, I still find some undesirable thoughts and ideas hidden in the deep darkness of my mind, that haven’t cycled through yet and I’m not afraid of them. I believe they’re there by God’s design, acting like little beacons to help me embrace a deeper relationship with Him. The world knows my triggers and uses them to try to draw me from God’s light. It uses a memory, song, smell, place, etc. that triggers my stinken thinken but crying out to Jesus helps me to not stumble. I remember Pastor Joe drilling me with Who does Jesus say that I am?” Yes; I tried Philippians 4:13 and it just didn’t cut it, because I had zero trust in Jesus and it was imperative that I believe what Jesus truly thought of me, and when that became obvious; it rocked my world! I then could live out, Philippians 4:13 (NLT), For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. To quote Dr. Iris Barrett, “once God’s word sticks; you become unstuck.”

I firmly believe Christians that live in the positive lane of life have found that faith-filled trust in God that it takes to live content. I heard Steve Workman say, contentment is peace in the present tense. No matter how dark the darkness I need not fear it but enter it with a positive teachable attitude and ask Jesus to show me what I need. God exampled the immediate need for more of His positive presence, through the nurse’s staff that cared for me during a recent hospital stay. These people work many hours with people who are suffering and in pain, which often causes them to lash out in ugly ways. I was highly blessed to be able to share a little of God’s goodwill with them. I’ve learned over the years a positive attitude uplifts me, more than those I’m to lift up. I have seen God’s heart for people in Deuteronomy 7:9 (NLT), Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.

Father God, may we memorize and live according to John 8:12 (NLT), Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” We know that your light is love in its purest form and you choose to shed it upon your chosen! Thank you, Jesus, for enduring the pain of sacrificing yourself and for calling me to walk in it. May I cast your light abundantly among your people who are in need? Amen




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